I used to think I’d love myself once I lost weight and once I felt confident in my body. But weight loss doesn’t automatically equate to confidence. No matter how my weight fluctuated, I only started to feel confident within myself once I discovered self-love.
When self-love and I finally clicked my weight was actually the highest it had ever been.
I didn’t find self-love by becoming perfect. I still had flaws but it no longer bothered me. Did I love the things I once hated? Not to start with, but I had found a happy middle ground.
So if you’ve ever wondered if you can love yourself without first loving your imperfections. Yes, you certainly can.
Can you learn to love eventually your flaws? Yes, you certainly can.
You might wonder how you can possibly go from hating something about yourself to loving that very same thing.
To be honest, it will take time. You can’t flip a switch and instantly love everything about yourself. Self-love doesn’t happen overnight.
Rather than aiming too big, too soon, start small.
Don’t worry about loving your flaws immediately, instead first work on accepting them. Work on no longer fixating on your imperfections. Work on leaving behind the negative self-talk.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying ‘speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend’. But have you ever tried speaking of your flaws in the same way?
I want you to think about your favourite person. Maybe it’s your partner, your best friend, your child or a parent.
Do they have flaws? You bet.
Do you love them even though they are flawed? You sure do.
Do you judge them based on their flaws? No, you don’t.
Do you constantly remind yourself of their flaws? I highly doubt it.
So why do you think your own flaws define you?
Why do you base your self-worth around these flaws? Why do you think you need to be perfect in order to be deserving of your own love?
Absolutely no-one is perfect.
Your loved ones aren’t, but you still love them.
I’m not. I’n not even close. But I still love myself.
My flaws don’t define me. They don’t dictate whether I deserve love or not, or whether I can be happy or not. They are simply a part of me. They will be there whether I love them or hate them. So I say screw it, imperfections be damned.
When we think of the people we love we focus on all of their positive traits, but when we think of ourselves we focus only on the negative. It’s time to kick this bad habit to the curb.
It’s time to focus on your own positive traits. To start with, think of one or two of your positive traits. Remind yourself of these each day.
If you find your thoughts drawn to your flaws, remind yourself of a few of the things you do love about yourself.
This could be your sense of humour. Your smile that lights up the room. The hugs you give. Your sense of style. Your creativity. Your caring nature. Your spontaneity. Your daring nature. Your inquisitiveness. The way you listen and remember little things about the people you meet. Your curves. Your strength. Your laugh that’s always a little too loud. Your patience. The belly that grew life. The legs that carry you throughout your day.
We all have amazing and beautiful qualities. And we all have flaws.
So join me in learning to see past the imperfections. Join me and start to enjoy being who you are. Being the amazing, imperfectly perfect person that you are.
Self-love doesn’t ask that you be perfect. It doesn’t ask you to no longer be flawed. All it asks is that you start to appreciate everything that makes you you.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Let me know something that you love about yourself or tell me all about a quality that makes you uniquely you.