Let’s rewind & look at my journey into the world of wellness:
At 14 || I would come home from school and watch tv while eating a full sized chocolate bar and packet of chips. Otherwise my diet wasn’t too bad and I was super active. I didn’t yet know that my body was something I could hate.
At 16 || I don’t remember why, but I decided that I needed to lose weight. I tracked what I ate and my dependence on the scales begun. I lost too much weight, far too quickly, and was the thinnest I’ve ever been. I was also deeply unhappy.
At 17 || I could no longer keep up with the self-imposed restrictions. I would eat barely anything all day, then “lose control” and binge for hours each evening. The weight soon piled back on. I was still miserable.
Over the next few years, I continued to weigh myself daily. I continued to struggle with restricting and binging, and I would lose weight only to put it back on again. The self-hatred continued too.
At 21 || I travelled around Europe for 6 months and included a set of scales in my suitcase. Because, totally necessary, right? I told myself I did it to avoid gaining any holiday weight, but really I didn’t know how to trust myself without the scales.
At 22 || I found the world of blogs and devoured so many healthy living posts. I read vegetarian blogs. The veggie women I admired were skinny and pretty, so I stopped eating meat hoping that it would help me lose weight.
I then moved on to running blogs and added ‘running a marathon’ to my bucket list. Even though I hate, hate, hate running. Again, I hoped running would be the secret tool I needed to finally get to my goal weight. Then I moved on to blogs about Bikram yoga. Then juice cleanses. Then clean eating.
I tried every new health trend. Not to be healthy, but to try and lose weight.
At 25 || Put simply, I’d had enough. A trip to Nepal with no internet, no scales and no showers for 2 weeks inspired me to stop weighing myself every day. A few months later I jetsetted off to Turkey where I gleefully indulged in the local food (all without any sense of guilt) and learnt that food wasn’t simply a matter of good vs bad or clean vs dirty.
When I landed back on Australian soil I dived head first into self-help books and learnt all I could about self-love. It took time and effort but I slowly learnt to find my self-worth in things other than my weight and how “well” I ate.
At 27 || I walked 100km (yup, in one go) and learnt to truly appreciate everything my body is capable of. Shortly after that I fell pregnant. As my body bloomed, so too did the love I had for it.
And now, I’m a new mum and my body doesn’t quite look the way it once did. But I’m ok with that. Truly. I’m humbled by my ability to birth and grow a beautiful boy and I hope to show my body respect and love, every single day.